Memories To Last a Lifetime

Reunions....just the word conjures up so many thoughts. Fun, family, food, kids, rekindled friendship, love,happiness, smiles, great photos, new babies, games, old stories, and so much more. Sometimes there are mixed memories of other kinds too- sadness, regret, being thankful and even some tears.

Early in 2006, I decided to organize a family reunion of family from my Dad's side of the family. My Grandmother, Opal Gardner Coleman, had come from a large family of 15 children from the Westerville/Broken Bow area of Nebraska. All the children of this family stayed very close through out the years and the many descendants also were a close knit family. Lots of the cousins have been lucky enough to keep in touch over those years. It had been a long time since we had all been together however, so it was time to get something organized. At the onset of this undertaking, I did not have knowledge of several future happenings but looking back, I don't think I would have changed a thing anyway. Life must be lived with the always positive outlook of "looking forward". I believe that is what makes us special- our ability to dream and hope for something better to come.

At the time I began to organize my reunion, my brother Dick, was fighting colon cancer along with some other ailments but he was still working every day that he could at his job. As hard as it was, it helped to keep him going forward in his life. When I announced to him and his wife that I was planning the reunion, his response was somewhat unexpected: "he didn't want anything to do with it and would not be coming". His wife and I are very close as sisters-in-law go. She is a professional genealogist with 50 years under her belt and we travel together and blog together as The You Go Genealogy Girls. We were both surprised as my brother had always been close to family and enjoyed such things. We knew it was his illness causing him to have no interest and to be even somewhat put-out about the whole thing, but I went ahead with the reunion plans for the summer of 2007.

Planning a big reunion is a massive undertaking to say the least. Mine was planned and executed over almost a year and a half. I rented a big family hall at Chadron State Park in northwest Nebraska. It had a large central gathering area, kitchen and patio which was great. Meals were planned for 75 people for the three day weekend. Kitchen help was arranged and several of my great family members "pitched" right in and helped when they arrived. I supervised! There were also activities there for all the kids. Swimming pool, hiking, riding and games. I also reserved a block of the bungalow cabins there for all the families. Letters went out to known family to gather addresses for others. Over the next year, I sent periodical letters and reminders about the upcoming event with plans and cabin information etc. No matter where we had planned it, it would have meant travel for some, so I tried to pick a fun location for all. Another project that I started was collecting photos and the genealogy of the ancestors of my Dad's family. I did the same for all the descendants of the original 15 children of Willis David Gardner and Effie Mae Copsey Gardner. Luckily I had two great family historians to help with that task. My ultimate goal was a family book for all to take home. The book began to take shape and reservations had begun to come in. I was both tired and excited for the big day to come. Brother still was not very receptive of the reunion but his wife, Ruby, and I continued to work on the book, hoping he would warm up to the idea.

My brother's health had begun to decline badly in early 2007 and he had made plans to finally retire from a long career in banking. At the same time my other brother's wife became gravely ill and was hospitalized in Rapid City. The plans for the reunion were moving along but I had reservations about going ahead with it because of the seriousness of the health of both my loved one's . My sister-in-law told me she thought that I should go ahead as we did not know what would happen in the family. My husband also wanted me to go through with the plans, even knowing that some of the immediate family may not be able to attend. It was a hard decision to make at the time but we did decide to go forward with plans. The reunion was only about 2 months away at that time. All of a sudden, my brother decided the reunion was a great idea and he began to look forward to coming. We all knew that his health was bad and it would be difficult for him to come, but he was excited for it and that was great. I, for one, hoped all my close family could be there.

Three weeks before the big day: my sister-in-law who had been ill in Rapid city for weeks, was brought home and she passed away here in Alliance. It was a sad time, of course and I knew that brother, Bill would probably not want to come to the reunion so soon after. At the same time my brother, Dick, found that his cancer had spread and he retired early from his job. He went to Omaha for treatments and it was doubtful that he and Ruby would be able to come to the reunion, but small miracles sometimes show themselves in the face of adverse times.

Our reunion was to go on and my brother, Dick, recovered enough to make the trip. June 15th, Father's Day, rolled around and the reunion was on in full force. I got Dick and Ruby a small cabin with a pretty little deck looking over one of the pine tree canyons in Chadron State Park.
He seemed to enjoy the view and the little "roughing it" cabin. He said he had not stayed in a place like that since growing up and camping with family and it had brought back many good childhood memories to him. Families began to show up and set up housekeeping in the cabins and the park campgrounds while I worked on the meals and entertainment at the big hall. We had family that came from several places within Nebraska, Colorado, Kansas, Wyoming, Texas, South Dakota, and even New York! Our party was in full swing by the first night. We all gathered, had a buffet style meal, and got reacquainted. It was fun and the weekend promised to be a fun one! Saturday was greeted with coffee and rolls for all and a noon buffet was served again. The hall was perfect for a huge long table area and plenty of room to visit and share stories. The kids found lots of entertainment both inside and out with games, swimming and playing ball. I devised a fun question, riddle, and answer game involving facts about people and they all had to write their answers as to who in the family they thought it was. It was lengthy and took several hours to complete but it was fun for all and the winners got take home some of the table centerpieces for their patios. We also had old photos to look at and some to try and identify. My family book, RELECTIONS- The Descendants of W. D. and Effie Gardner ended up to be 400 pages of easy to read genealogy, family recipes, and hundreds of photos and was a big hit. THAT was a massive undertaking to design and self print, but everyone loved it and conversation over the book sparked many stories and memories. ( I am so proud of my book, but after 60 copies,and still counting, would never recommend anyone to self print such a project!) Saturday evening we had a surprise "retirement" cake and honored my brother, Dick, for his many years of serving the public in his banking career. He loved getting to see all the family and it was the first time, in a long time that he, Ruby, and his two children got to be together as a family. Tears were plentiful with us all, knowing his career had ended and also recognizing his health condition.

Sunday, Father's Day, and our last day of the reunion. Our family is home to at least two ministers of the gospel and several others who are well versed in such matters! We had a sweet, short prayer service in memory of our ancestors and to honor all our Dads who were in attendance at the reunion. My other brother did decide to come, along with one of his sons and grandsons. He too, enjoyed being with family. I knew he was deep in grieving with the recent loss of his wife but he said afterwards that he was glad he had come and enjoyed being with all the family on a happy occasion. After another great meal, we all said our goodbyes and began the trips towards home.

Are reunions worth all the work? Absolutely, no matter what it takes and no matter the circumstances. Ours was great. I hope my family still thinks of it fondly, as I do. My brother, Dick, passed away from the ravages of cancer just one week after our reunion. The memories are certainly bittersweet but oh so worth it!

This is a little saying that my nephew signs all his emails with. I thought it was so appropriate for a " family reunion" blog carnival. "THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY" (Jerry Seinfeld, actor and comedian). I respectfully disagree, any family reunion offers great fun and fond memories for ALL the family. As you may notice in some of our photos, even the adults were having FUN. Life really is what you make of it!

WILLIS TROYER, "Cowboy and Early Settler"

Willis Troyer is a name that I have heard for all the years since my marriage into his family, nearly 40 years ago. Wyoming was made for cowboys and that is what he was...and much more.

All these past years of knowing the name and some dates but not many facts. Very recently I got to add some important facts and make a visit to his gravesite to honor the Man. Quite unexpectedly, my mother-in-law made connections with a man through Ancestry.com that helped to fill in some names, dates and places for several of our Troyer family ancestors, including that of Willis Troyer. I spent an evening of online searching to get more information about the Hillcrest Cemetery in Lagrange, Wyoming where many of the family were buried. My search yielded an index to the cemetery and to my surprise there were many Troyer and McComsey relatives who were buried there. A trip to the little cemetery was quickly planned and you can read more about it here.

Our Grandma Alda who was Willis' niece had often talked about him but typical of most younger people, we did not document her stories and as she and time passed, we lost the knowledge that we once had. All that were left were a couple photos which we have cherished.

Willis Troyer was an early settler to Lagrange, Goshen Co., Wyoming and was a cowboy and blacksmith for the L-D Ranch which was part of the famous Swan Land and Cattle Company. He worked for his father, Andrew Troyer, who was the ranch foreman and he also rode with Ben Smith, a fellow cowboy/ranch hand who became my husband's Great Grandfather. Ben Smith married Barbara Elizabeth Troyer "Lizzie", who was Willis Troyer's sister and through her was my husband's tie to Andrew and Willis by blood.

Our great- great uncle Willis was an all around ranch hand and according to John Rollinson in his book "PONY TRAILS IN WYOMING", Willis was the resident blacksmith for the L-D Ranch when Mr. Rollinson worked there as a young man. He stated that Willis was willing to teach others about his trade and that he was well liked by those he worked with. After the Swan Company, Willis Troyer owned/operated his own blacksmith shop in the town of Lagrange, Wyoming for many years. It was located on part of the land that is now The Frontier School of the Bible in Lagrange. Willis' granddaughter, Iris, still remembers the distinct smell of her Grandpa's blacksmith shop-recalled from her childhood. She also tells us that Willis worked on other ranches through the years around the Lagrange area and often he could be found at Hawk Springs, pole in hand, as he was an avid fisherman. He and his wife, Ida, also enjoyed and maintained a monsterous garden every year.

How great is genealogy? Our recent discovery of more Troyer and McComsey relatives in the Lagrange, Wyoming cemetery has also brought wonderful new acquaintances and "shirt tale" relatives into the light. Steve from Belen, NM and Iris from Cheyenne, WY are our newly found relatives. Iris has actually known my mother-in-law for some time but I just met her by phone and had a great visit, with anticipation to meet her soon. Both Steve and Iris have added precious pearls to our knowledge base and we have shared family ancestry and photos. Thanks to them both for adding new memories!

Willis Troyer and his family are still fondly remembered and honored by his grandchildren, great grandchildren and by us, his great- great nieces and nephews. We now have visited his final resting place and will visit often as we travel to Cheyenne often via the Lagrange, Wyoming route.

Links from the past,to the present,and back again to the past....how precious they are!


You can read more on The You Go Geneaology Girls blog "Have Bike, Will Travel" about my fun research trip to visit these family gravesites - with a light hearted tale of travel and discovery to the Hillcrest Cemetery in Lagrange, Wyoming.

COMFORT FOOD

As I have sat the last couple days and reflected on this very busy summer and it's memories, the one thing that always seemed to be in every thought was food! I got to thinking about it more and came to the realization that nearly every meaningful memory that I have seems to involve food in some way. Comfort food as I call it. Part of our lives and memories.

My own personal memories are scattered in their times and places but all those great meals when the family was all together seem to really stand out. My own wedding rehearsal dinner the night before I was married in 1971. The family gathered at an old hotel here in Alliance which is no longer here but the photos and the meal are vivid in my mind. Anniversaries which were many over the years and included special places that we went to eat a nice meal. Our family celebrated the 60th anniversary of my parents in 1996 with a large gathering and fancy meal at our local country club. That was one of the last times in our lives that all our large extended family was together. My parents were the anchor for us all and their passing has left a huge void in our lives but the many memories which I have gathered over the years with them keeps me going. It seems there was always food, meals, and cooking within all those memories.

Birthdays and cake-they just go with family. All those old memories and all the new memories of Grandchildren and their first birthdays. Cake abounds! Sometimes they were homemade and sometimes from the bakery but each one held a special place. A few years ago, I made an angel food cake for my husbands birthday as they are his favorite. I had made hundreds before but that year brought the manufacture of 3 of those cakes before I gave up. Each one fell as it cooled and finally I just filled in with frosting and we ate them all, lopsided and lumpy. We still laugh about those today. I once served what we affectionately call "squirrel cake" to company. I had sat out the cake to cool on my deck and forgot it and a friendly squirrel dug out a piece of the corner before he was caught. I was on a short time dilemma so I cut off one end of the cake and went ahead and frosted it. My company was told about the cake and we all ate it anyway. It was delicious and we all remember that meal often and laugh about us serving them "squirrel cake". Were it not for the cake incident, that ordinary gathering of friends would have been lost to memory!

As my children were growing up, we did a lot of camping out and participated in the old time mountain man "rendezvous". Cooking over open pit fires with old utensils was great fun and I hope gave my sons some great memories to carry through life with them. They learned the value of modern amenities and history along the way. Not to mention some great meals with wild game- even turtle and snake graced our table! Our dutch oven peach cobbler is great and even though we camp somewhat more modern now days, we still love that peach cobbler over an open fire pit. I wonder if son Jason has prepared that for his 8 children while out camping? He could probably fore-go the snake and just include that as one of his family memories !!!

Grandma Opal Coleman was the grandest of ladies, born before 1900, the oldest of 15 children and she was an awesome cook. I am the lucky owner of several of her recipes but my offerings never have compared to hers. I never really saw her use a recipe anyway and I loved to spend time with her while she cooked. She made the most wonderful, yet simple "fried potatoes". I stayed with her a lot and begged for them each time. To this day I have not been able to make mine taste like hers. I can still taste and smell them each time I think about it, the memory of them never goes away. They were definitely comfort food of the highest degree! Each Christmas she made two favorite kinds of cookies. She stored them in tins in the cool basement and of course all the Grandchildren loved them and they were the most special cookies ever. I make those almost every year too but they will never compare to the ones from Grandma's tins!

My Mom, Irene, was an awesome cook too and I guess it just came natural as her Mother was also a grand cook. As a child I would cook with her often but looking back, wish I had paid better attention at times. Many things my Mom made are things that I cook today. Our comfort foods are her homemade noodles, hamburger soup, kidney beans and meat balls and more. When I can't think of something to cook on a given day, I turn to Mom's comfort food. She never had cooking failures but for one which came later in life. She had nearly lost her eyesight and made meatloaf one day. She had some stewed tomatoes in the refrigerator to add but got hold of the left over strawberries instead. It was my son's girlfriend who was coming to dinner but they all had a good laugh and ate it anyway. We will never forget the strawberry meatloaf. My niece, Suzanne, also wrote about her Grandma Irene and some of her food memories in one of her blogs on "Growing Up Genealogy". Mom passed her legacy on to myself and all of her Grandchildren. Even though most of them did not cook with her, they certainly got her great cooking skills. My son, Daniel, loves to cook and grill. He cooks and smokes meat for all kinds of meals and celebrations and is becoming a master "brewer". My other son, Jason is also a wonderful cook. His char-grilled ribs are to die for and his own recipe for jalapeno/cheddar bread is wonderful and the envy of the farmers market in his city. I wish I could take credit but I really think they came by it naturally form their Grandma Irene. Her other Grandsons, Randy and Bill are also grand cooks. Randy makes pies that would turn most "Grandmas" green with envy and Bill is expert at cooking wild game and fish. As you can see, we will never starve with our wonderful legacy in hand. Food does invoke many of those wonderful old family memories.

Freddie, my Dad, was a lifelong railroader but he also liked to cook. We grew up camping a lot in the summer and Dad often was the chief cook while we were out. Fried fish which he and Mom prepared together that had been fresh caught and were great tasting! His camp food was simple but boy was it good--comfort food for the soul. Dad often cooked meals at home if he was in from a trip on the railroad and Mom was working all day. He was good at cleaning out the refrigerator. Mom always said that she had to be careful what she left in there as it might end up in tonight's dinner. Often those meals were kinda strange in their ingredients but they were always delicious. I only have one bad memory of food and that was something my Dad cooked: lamb. To this day, I won't eat it. I walked home from school each day for lunch and I could smell the lamb cooking a block away when he was preparing it! One vivid memory of his cooking was on one of Mom's working days and he decided to make homemade noodles to surprise her.(She made the world's best noodles). He used baking soda instead of baking powder and they turned black as spades while in the drying process. I don't remember if we ate them or not!


How many of us who consider ourselves to be family historians and genealogists have stopped to consider our family's food legacy? I have included many memories and recipes which have been handed down in my family in one of my Family Books: "REFLECTIONS", The Descendants of Willis and Effie Gardner. Some may just be simple scraps of paper like the one shown above from my Grandma Pearl Moore but they are all worthy heirlooms. My family now has comfort food at their finger tips anytime that they want to take a trip home! Just stop and think for a moment and I will bet that you too can conger up many family memories that have centered around food or the dinner table. Recipes as well as memories and ancestors are precious.

When we want to go "home" and can't, our comfort foods can take us there, if only for a brief moment in time.